Now children are openly being encouraged to flout the laws of morality and the land. Enviro-Mental-ists have been setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack outside nursery schools.

Terror expert Lala from the teletubbies has analysed the phenomenon in a new book which we certainly aren’t plugging although it is available from our bookshop for just £7.99; a fantastic 1.7% discount.

In "Setting fire to pensioners whilst high on skunk and crack: The True Face Of Evil", Lala from the teletubbies says, "Things got out of hand and we’d had a few drinks. We smashed the place up and Boris set fire to the toilets.".

A decent "Big Society" that cared about children would bring back hanging for enviro-Mental-ists. After the hanging the still twitching bodies would be deported to somewhere tropical and foreign.